‘What Iffing…’ + Other Tales

You could ‘What If…?’ your life away. ‘What If…?’ yourself into an early grave. I should know, I do it each and every time I make the first tentative steps towards producing a show. You’ve got to understand, this is all a big surprise to me. I know I’ve mentioned this before but I don’t think anyone ever foresaw that I would one day try my hand at playwrighting, running a theatre company and producing. Especially not moi. But I try to simply follow the call. It makes sense that I’d do this, for now. The moment it stops making sense, I’ll stop (and trust me sometimes it’s hard to make it makes sense financially…more about that another time). Every time I contemplate producing a new show, there are endless ‘What Ifs…?’ surfacing to dog my plans.

Here’s some:

What if no one comes? What if I fail? What if I offend someone? What if I lose all the money? What if nothing ever comes of it? What if I never get ‘there?’ (still not sure where that is…anyone?)

All ways my ego tries to stop me moving forward (all in an effort to keep me safe, bless it). The Fear (because that’s all these ‘What If’s…?’ are, just different variations of Fear), of what if I’m not good enough?

I know these doubts, fears and hesitations aren’t unique to me but I do wonder if, as a woman raised in a working/benefits class single parent household (and this does matter) that I, and those like me, must work extra super duper hard on our mindset and assuaging the fears that inevitably will arise every time you step our into the arena with your art and say hey, everyone…I got some stuff to say.

It’ll never be easy. But I know my confidence has doubled since I staged my first show almost 3 years ago now. I could never have envisioned I’d be here a few years later, booking venues, learning about funding, creating content, designing posters, producing events, writing plays. But each project I get a little bolder when inevitably no one dies and most people have a good time when they get involved.

I write this to encourage you too, if you’re ‘What Iffing…?’ yourself into obscurity.

How about this…? What if you win? What if all your wildest dreams come true? What if you prove them all wrong? What if you develop the courage to be the best version of you? Create art and change the world?

Let’s start ‘What Iffing’ that…